Life it's not constant, it changes all the time, every day, nothing it's certain and anything could happen. However, when bad things happen we don't like it, and when a lot of bad things happen we feel overwhelmed, out of place and depressed. I have noticed though, that after everything starts to get in its place, you start feeling better, realize that it wasn't that bad. That everything it's going to be ok.
There are times when big things happen, and it takes us a long time to get over them. Everything turns out to be alright after we just move on after we detach from the pain and just live in the present moment. Miracles happen, you might be tight on money and suddenly you get some, you might not have a loved one but you find one. That's the thing about change, it can be good or bad but when it's good you're thankful and when it's bad, as a thinking human being you use your brain, figure things out and get out of the hole. In the end, you see these little things, they didn't matter, but they got you depressed, and now you're not going to let the same little things affect you because you went up one level and found a way to fix them, and now you can move on to bigger things.
9.02.2018
Failing Background Noise, too Busy for Depresive Shit
I have been doing great lately. I finally moved out and started getting my shit together. Got a loan for a car and got a job that I don't hate. I am finally making friends!... And even as scared as I was before, It feels fucking nice to have someone to talk to.
There are still things I gotta work with, like my daddy issues, my fear to compromise, my super high ego, but so far I am seeing results on the tedious effort I put into making my life work and the sacrifices I make for getting results.
I definitely don't have time to be depressed... All the time I got it's the nighttime to take a shower and lie in bed, although I cannot lie, sometimes I feel lonely. But then I wake up and start living my daily life and it doesn't suck. I am also learning not to take everything personally, I can see why people's life can't be just about how much attention they put to me. Something I couldn't see before.
There is still my fear of not finding a partner for life. However, looking at it realistically, I am fed up with meeting assholes that don't even have goals in their life, but I am tired of not having goals either. With that said, focusing on myself it's the most important thing I can and have to do right now. I feel useful. I don't hear the background noise in my head as much anymore. It's amazing how good life can turn out to be when you put on your big girl's pants and stop winning.
There are still things I gotta work with, like my daddy issues, my fear to compromise, my super high ego, but so far I am seeing results on the tedious effort I put into making my life work and the sacrifices I make for getting results.
I definitely don't have time to be depressed... All the time I got it's the nighttime to take a shower and lie in bed, although I cannot lie, sometimes I feel lonely. But then I wake up and start living my daily life and it doesn't suck. I am also learning not to take everything personally, I can see why people's life can't be just about how much attention they put to me. Something I couldn't see before.
There is still my fear of not finding a partner for life. However, looking at it realistically, I am fed up with meeting assholes that don't even have goals in their life, but I am tired of not having goals either. With that said, focusing on myself it's the most important thing I can and have to do right now. I feel useful. I don't hear the background noise in my head as much anymore. It's amazing how good life can turn out to be when you put on your big girl's pants and stop winning.
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